


The Coming Out Handbook

by TheyCallMeBol



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - High School, Charades, Childhood Friends, Clyde is dumb, Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Possibly Unrequited Love, Teenage Drama, Then he's a good bro, is it really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21992710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheyCallMeBol/pseuds/TheyCallMeBol
Summary: Because of Clyde's stupid challenge, Craig ends up confesing his feelings to Tweek. Who doesn't believe he's gay.Huh.He might need to come out to the entire town. There's no way Tweek won't believe him then.
Relationships: Clyde Donovan & Craig Tucker, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, craig tucker & those guys
Comments: 15
Kudos: 193





	1. To best friend

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiiii  
> This is really silly but i was feeling extragay today and inspiration hit  
> Also, this is my first fic for this fandom. Damn

So, turns out Clyde Donovan, his childhood best friend and only person in the entire world who knows that he, Craig Tucker, robot, vulcan Craig Tucker, has a crush, is actually, for reals, fucking stupid.

“W-what?” Tweek, because he’s the only one smart enough to not be hammered says.“Tik-tik tok video?”

“Yes!” Clyde goes again because his only brain cell was currently puked and abandoned in Jimmy’s bathroom. “Listen, is genius! I’m like super popular in tiktok-”

“Don’t you have like, 200 something followers?” Craig interrupts.

“Yeah, popular,” Clyde says and looks at Tweek for support who nods because he barely uses any social media to prevent his anxiety attacks and paranoia. “And Bebe always sees my videos, so it’s a perfect plan,”

“I don’t know, Clyde- I mean… it doesn’t work if it lands in someone else because- uh- Craig-” Tweek looks at him pleading and he kinda melts on the seat. “Cr-craig doesn’t have a crush so it wouldn’t work.”

“Oh but he does!” Clyde says excitedly and if he weren’t in the backseat safely Craig would actually punch him right now.

“What?” Tweek whispers. “You… do you actually-?”

Craig groans and sends daggers in Clyde’s way but the stupid moron is just jumping excitedly on his seat immersed on his phone. “He absolutely does,” his supposedly best friend says nodding. “He’s smitten,” Craig is actually playing murder scenarios in his mind at this point. “Haven’t you seen him smiling stupidly at his phone?”

“No…” Tweek answers fiddling with his sweater.

“Okay but I won’t call them.” Craig says and immediately regrets it because Tweek is looking at him and mouthing ‘them’ and he needs to act fast before he catches up.

“It’s fine, you won’t,” Clyde says waving his hand dismissively. “This is all staged so I call Bebe and it’s all over the internet and supper romantic-”

“So, none of us will have to call our -nggh- crush?!” Tweek interrupts. 

“Wait you have a crush? Craig’s mouth says without his permission. Damn vodka. 

Tweek just shrinks on his seat and avoids his eyes, which absolutely should have given him a clue, but again, vodka. 

“You’ll tell us later, tweekers, I have the video and the tune ready!” Clyde says and jumps from his seat to set the phone straight on top of the steering wheel. “Again, we all point at each other, and when the song drops it has to stop in me so it looks like I lost and I’ll call Bebe, tell her I have a crush on her and we’ll be married and forever happy!”

“Foolproof plan,” Craig mutters and Tweek sends him a worried look.

“Actually-” Clyde says. “Why don’t we go live?!”

“WHAT” Tweek screeches at the same time Craig slaps Clyde’s reaching hand for his phone. 

“OW! DUDE” Clyde says rubbing his perfectly fine hand.

“No way in hell we are doing this live,” Craig says. 

“But Bebe will think its staged!” Clyde whines.

“Because it is!” Tweek says grabbing his hair anxiously. Craig gently pries his hands away and breaths slowly so Tweek calms down.

“Guys!” Clyde says, interrupting the moment and taking Tweek’s eyes from Craig which makes the apathetic boy groan. “I need you.”

“I- i don’t know, Clyde…”

“Yeah, it’s bullshit.”

“Remember when you both beat Cartman’s ass and I lied to PC for you guys because I love you?” Craig groans. “And I never asked for anything in return?”

“Because that’s what friends do?”

“WELL, I’m asking now!” Clyde says ignoring Craig and proceeds to make the drunkest puppy face ever. 

And Tweek actually falls for it.

“I mean…”

“Tweek no.”

“But he has a point…” Clyde is nodding now and Tweek sighs. “And it WON’T fall in me, right?”

“It won’t, dude, it’s so I can confess to Bebe. No way I’m throwing this golden opportunity to trash. We just have to make it quick and it will land in me with the beat, so I ‘lose’.” Clyde says reassuringly and for some reason it actually convinces Tweek.

It doesn’t convince Craig at all, who starts sweating under his hoodie. 

“... Craig?” Tweek asks, scared and anxious and fuck if this was a stupid crush Craig would flip him off but he has been in love with this boy since 9th grade.

“... it falls on you, yes or yes.” He says staring angrily at Clyde.

“Yes man. Of course.” Clyde says grinning and proceeds to start the app. “Hi followers!” he waves because he’s stupid and has had about four glasses of rum and coke. “I’m here with my guys and we are doing the calling the crush challenge!”

There’s about five people actually watching this stupid thing and Clyde is explaining when finally Bebe’s name shows up on the screen. 

“So, when the beat drops the one who it has fallen into has to call their crush.” Clyde resumes and presses play. The music starts and he points Tweek., who points Craig with a shaking finger. If it were to actually fall on him Craig is convinced Tweek might faint. Forget might, Craig’s already thinking the fastest route to the hospital, just in case.

The pointing goes on for a couple seconds and it has escalated on speed. Now there’s about ten people watching this stupid challenge, half of them Bebe’s friends, and Clyde is getting kinda nervous. Which is why when it’s about to drop he points Tweek, who squeaks and points at Craig jumping.

“Who did it fall into?” Clyde mutters.

“You, you are the biggest idiot-!” Craig says angrily. “It obviously fell in you-”

The chat erupts and everybody is claiming that no, it actually didn’t land on Clyde but Tweek, who at this point is so anxious his lips are going white from the bitting.

“NO!” he screams. “NO, -gAH- no Clyde YOU SAID-”

“Dude shut up-” Clyde hisses and this earns him a nudge from Craig. “Tweek, calm down-”

“Nghh SHUT UP CLYDE,” Tweeks hands were flying and suddenly they stop as he smacks them in his face and shrinks on himself, shaking. His breathing is faltering and the sight alone is making Craig sick.

“It landed on me.” he hears himself saying. Whatever, might as well do it all the way. “Tweek pointed at me.”

“What?” both Clyde and Tweek say. They both stare at the phone and there seems to be some debate on the chat, which makes Tweek exhale and breath which is the most wonderful thing to happen this night to Craig.

“Whatever.” Craig says and because he’s a coward grabs the bottle from his backpack and downs what's left of it in one go. “All right.”

Tweek is still shaking, but glances his way worriedly. Craig gulps. He’d rather face Tweek’s weirded out face because of his confession than an anxiety attack. Also knowing whoever his crush was would feel like a punch in the gut. 

“Really Craig?” Clyde whispers, and somehow it seems that he’s catching on. “We can just not do it…”

The people at the chat begin talking again and they all demand to know who’s managed to steal Craig’s Tucker heart. He makes a face at the comments and thinks about his options. Then fucking Kenny mentions Tweek again and vodka’s already made up his mind.

“Yeah, it was about damn time anyways.” Craig’s eyes end up inevitably on Tweek’s. He’s convinced this is the last time he will see him like this, everything is going to change after he dials-up. 

“Ok, I’m sure it will be okay…” Clyde tries laughing but the tension in the car is too much.

Craig nods and pulls out his phone from his hoodie. His hands are shaking but he wills it away. He presses ‘Tweek’ on his phone and quickly pulls it to his ear, as if the people on the car wouldn’t see it was him he’s calling. 

Tweek’s phone gives him a couple seconds before it rings and then it’s over. He risks one glance at Clyde whose face is actually draining color, then back to Tweek who is frowning as he unlocks his phone. He still hasn’t looked up and Clyde quickly snatches his own phone and ends the live.

“Dude,” Tweek finally says hanging up. “You called me.”

Craig feels he’s going to actually puke his heart on Tweek’s car and if what he has just done won’t end years of friendship, that will.

“GAH- well done Craig,” Tweek says puting a hand over his heart. “Jesus that was quick thinking. They must have bought it right?”

He’s looking at Clyde now, avoiding Craig, and poor Clyde can’t tear his own eyes away from him, afraid it might sell him.

“...what.” Craig says, because he can’t control himself anymore.

“You- you called me- to… to avoid calling your crush right?” Tweek asks. “Craig?”

It’s now when all the bravery and stupidity alcohol had given him mere seconds ago leaves him for good and Tweek’s weird blue-yellow eyes sober him up. He has never seen -and never will- eyes like his.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.” Craig grips his phone. He doesn’t care if he actually breaks it, he’s probably going to smash it as soon as this is over. “I called my crush.”

“B-but you called nnngh-me.” Tweek whispers.

“... yes.”

Craig sees it as soon as Tweek’s hand is reaching to unzip his seatbelt, and he’s rushing out of the door and going over the driver door before Tweek is fully out. He’s shaking hands and Clyde have slowed him down but now he’s outside, and he totally can punch Craig and run to his house.

“Tweek-” he says lifting up his hands.

“NO- shut up SHUT UP” Tweek screams. Craig tries to put a hand to his shoulder but Tweek dodges him fast and tries to run. Thank genes for his height, Craig manages to grab his sleeve. 

“Tweek please-”

“D-dont dont dON’T TOUCH ME!”

“Tweek for the love of go-” Tweek pulls again and he snatches his wrist. “I’m not letting go until you calm down!”

“How-GAH” Tweeks is biting his lip again and he can feel him shaking. “How could you do this time?! Is this a prank?!”

“What?!” Craig says confused. “Why would I-”

“Craig you are not gay!” Tweek says and he could swear that was a tear running down the boy’s cheek. “GAH! I’ve known you for 10 years, you are not gay. I know.”

Craig is frowning now. He releases Tweek hand who takes it to his chest as if Craig’s touch burned it. Maybe it had.

“I don’t know how- why… why you are doing this but you are clearly- confused. You are confused nghh and you are most certainly not gay,” Tweek mutters. “Believe me, I’ve checked.”

“What-”

“And if you were,” Tweek interrupts him. “It definitely wouldn’t be me.”

Craig is trying to make sense of the words and horribly failing to when he notices Tweek slipping past him and walking fast to his house. He’s inside before he can get his heart back on check and he slumps against the car, still facing the Tweak’s residence.

It’s Clyde who breaks the silence bumping the window. He’s mouthing something so he opens the driver’s door -Tweek’s, door- and takes the keys from the ignition.

“Dude.” Clyde whispers. He doesn’t answer and this earns him a punch on the shoulder. “Dude! Tweek?! He’s your crush?”

“What, you aren’t surprised I’m gay?” Craig says looking at the floor.

“What- no! Fuck that!” Clyde says. “I’m mad you didn’t fucking tell me it was Tweek! I wouldn’t have fucking said anything about this stupid challenge!”

Craig looked at his friend with glassy eyes. Clyde jumped to the front seat, looked at him for a second and then hugged him.

“I don’t give a fucking shit about you being gay.” he says on his shoulder. “I-I mean, I do, I-I care about you and stuff but. I’m more worried about what just happened right now,”

Craig brought his arms up and held onto his friend. 

“I wished you would have told me but… I understand. I understand, Craig,”

“I think I lost him,” Craig whispers. “I fucked up for good.”

Clyde holds him tighter and let's go with a final pat on the back. Craigs rubs his face aggressively.

“If what I saw and heard was what I did hear.” Clyde says grinning. “You might be wrong, Tucker.”

“What?”

“He didn’t seem upset about finding out about you liking him,” he says and Craig scoffs. “No, listen to me, dude. He seemed like he wouldn’t believe you are gay,”

“He said that even if I were, it wouldn’t be him,” Craig says. “What the fuck does that mean?!”

“Dude,” Clyde says smiling. “I’m being serious. To me it’s obvious he feels the same way but doesn’t want to give himself hope. He has convinced himself it isn’t true. It can’t be true.”

“But it is.” he whispers. “Who would it be if not him.”

“Wow that’s gay.” Craig punches him. “DUDE! Rude!”

“Even if he likes me, which we don’t know, he’s obviously way too fucking upset now. What do I even do.”

“Show him how gay you are for him, duh.”

Craig stares at his friend for a couples seconds and thinks. He has been for the past 17 years hiding his emotions, being the stoic, mysterious boy that doesn’t smile and barely speaks. This is the first time he tells somebody he’s gay. And it feels right.

“I like that face. That’s smiling Craig. You are onto something,”

“There’s no smiling Craig,” 

“Oh there is. Look at him,” Clyde turns the rearview and Craig sees himself. Nothing has changed since he has told Clyde. He’s the exact same Craig Tucker. He smiles.

“Ok. Let’s do this.”

“All right!” Clyde screams and they both grab their bags and exit the car. Craig closes it and debates whether to leave the keys by the door on a pot or something or take them home. “I hope that by 'let’s do this' you mean 'let’s do this tomorrow' after we have slept and nursed the hangover we are definitely gonna have.”

“Yes,” Craig says nodding. “Go to sleep, dude.”

Clyde closes the space between them and gives him one last hug between walking down the street to his house, a few streets away. He goes to the door and drops the keys on the mailbox. They miraculously fit.

He’s about to text Tweek that he closed the car and the keys are there when he looks up and he sees movement on Tweek’s window. He sighs and turns, adjusts his backpack over his shoulder and walks home.


	2. To class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!!!! the song (which is one of my main inspirations for this fic is [COMING OUT OFFICIAL SONG](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3ECU6xtp68)) and a Must for every queer person out there, so, in case you didn't know it already, you are welcome

Craig woke up to his phone ringing. He grunts and smacks blindly around the bed, guessing he had left it somewhere close, but it’s over before he can find it. Well, he’ll take what piece of peace he can.

Stripe 4 makes a cute chirping noise from his cage and Craig sighs. Little guy must be hungry. He is about to get up when his phone starts ringing again, and now he manages to spot it, still on his hoodie, on the floor, just like he left it yesterday. 

Remembering last night’s events, he throws himself to the floor in the off chance that’s Tweek who is calling him. But it’s Clyde. Whatever. His head hurts like a bitch. He lets the phone fall from his hands and looks around the room, in case past Craig was smart enough to leave an aspirin or something for his incoming headache. No such luck. He groans.

Stripe has realised he’s fully awake now, and is running around his cage, trying to get his attention. He gets up, stumbling a little because the floor is not kind enough to stop spinning, and walks to his guinea pig, finding his food container just under the cage. He pours his pet’s breakfast (lunch?) on his hand and opens the cage so Stripe can eat from there. He likes to feel his small mouth biting the snacks. Sue him, it makes him feel warm.

As soon as Stripe isn’t hungry anymore, he loses interest in Craig’s hand and goes for some water. Craig wipes his hand on his pajama pants and closes the cage again. His phone starts fucking ringing again and this time he picks up.

“What.”

“Good morning to you too,” Clyde says. “How bad is your headache? From one to ten, ten being a truck just ran over me, one being Tweek just kissed me.”

“You are an asshole,” Craig groans and opens the door of his bedroom, the sun directly hitting his face from the window, making him think for a second of never ever drinking again. He gets down the stairs, ready to raid the kitchen. “And a 4. I think,”

“Cool, I’ll be there in an hour,”

“What the hell, why?” he doesn’t see neither of his parents on the living room or the kitchen, so he guesses they are out grocery shopping. He checks once more in the bathroom, just to make sure, and puts Clyde on speaker.

“Well, we have to plan your next move. Obviously,” Clyde mutters. “Told you I would be there for ya, man,”

“I don’t know what to do. There’s no plan,” there’s a couple aspirins on the kitchen table with a note, presumably from his mother. “My parents will be back by this afternoon,” Craig reads. “No way in hell we are doing whatever we are doing here.”

“What? Why?” 

“I’d like to fix everything with Tweek before my dad finds out I’m gay and tries to beat it out of me.”

“Dude,” Craig swallows one of the pills and some orange juice from the fridge. “He isn’t going to-”

“Yeah, I’m not like, confident on that,” Craig mutters. “My mom will be fine with it, tho. Tricia too.”

“... okay, man,” Clyde sighs. “You can come whenever. My dad won’t be home till night, but you can stay too if you want,”

“K, I’ll have something for lunch and come over.” his fridge is kinda sad looking, which isn’t unexpected since his family is currently shopping. He grabs a couple potatoes and start peeling them in silence. Clyde hasn’t said anything else.

“You don’t have to do it, you know?” his friend says. “It’s your choice.”

Craig grabs a kettle and start heating some water. Boiled potatoes aren’t the greatest meal ever but he’s hungry, and not really a cooker. Also it’s fast so he doesn’t feel like he’s losing time.

“Yeah,” he says. “I know. I want to, tho.”

The water is boiling by the time Clyde has changed subject and is telling him how Bebe has texted him asking how the night was. Craig hums and nods even though Clyde can’t see him. He is comfortable like this. He is the best listener out of all their friends, and probably one of the best of the high school, if he’s being humble. 

His potatoes are ready just by the time Clyde finishes telling him how he plans to talk to Bebe when they finish their chem exam this friday and he laughs at him and calls him chicken because it’s just really Clyde of him to postergate talking to Bebe with new excuses. Go figure.

“Dude,” he says after he has washed the pot. “I’ll eat this and head to yours, allright?”

“Sure,” Clyde hums. “Ah! I almost forgot, I also kinda called Jimmy and Token,”

“Kinda?”

“Maybe definitely?”

“Dude!”

“I’m sorry I thought it would be best to ask you but you kept ignoring my calls!”

“What the hell man...”

“I thought we could test on them whatever we are planing. Like,” Clyde says and Craig is rolling his eyes so bad he’s afraid they might get stuck backwards forever. “ Like coming out practice.”

“Clyde,”

“It’s obvious you need to tune up your technique dude, it didn’t go exactly smooth the first time,” Craig groans and hangs up. Great.

He eats his boiled sad potatoes grumpily and thinks about it. _Stupid Clyde. This is like, the worst possible way._ He only needs Tweek to believe him. He doesn’t need the entire gang to know. Is not that he doesn’t trust them but he just really doesn’t like talking about his feelings.

He stabs a potato.

Besides, he isn’t really worried about them finding out and reacting badly. He wouldn’t be the first kid to come out in their school, and mostly everybody was neutral about it. There were homophobes of course, and some over excited creepy girls that shipped it weirdly. The only person he’s really worried about is his dad but that’s definitely not happening anytime soon.

He finishes eating in silence and washes his dishes. He’s not in the mood for music, he’s listening to his thoughts for now. His phone has vibrated a couple times and he doesn’t check because he knows it’s not Tweek. 

*

_Highschool, first year._

“Tweek Tweak?” Craig groans. “Seriously?”

“Yes dude, why?” Token says passing him a controller. “He’s cool, I’m with him in orchestra.”

“No he’s not. You just want him to play the piano for your stupid solo.”

“Well yeah but I still like him. He’s a nice dude. Kinda funny sometimes, makes interesting conversation” Craig rolls his eyes and Token somehow catches him. “He doesn’t have that many friends, I’m being nice.”

“See? It’s a pity thing. Dude doesn’t need your fucking pity Token. We aren’t a charity case.”

“Would you stop being a dick for two seconds?”

“I’m not being a dick I’m being honest.” Craig complains. “I like him alright we have shared a couple classes, I think. He’s weird but that doesn’t bother me. It’s the fact that you are inviting him for your own selfish personal reasons.”

“What bothers you is that you don’t like changing your fucking routines. Now shut up do you wanna try this new game or not?”

Craig groans again and presses play. “Besides,” Token adss because he always have to feel morally superior. Craig usually lets him. “I don’t need your permission to invite a friend to a party. It was just a heads up because I know you don’t like too many people.”

_*_

Craig finishes washing up, and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. After three fucking years with braces you bet your ass he’s taking care of his teeth. They are worth damn money. He grabs the keys from the bowl his mom is so adamant he uses, his jacket, and his chullo. Clyde’s is less than a ten minute walk from his house so is not really worth it taking the car. Also, the cold will sober him up, he’s still too caught up in his mind.

When he gets there Token is parking in front of Clyde’s house, who is waving at them excitedly through the window. Jimmy opens the door and Craig takes his coat from the seat, and proceeds to throw it over his head.

“G-g-goo morning to y-y-you too, asshole.” Jimmy says grinning.

“What's up dude?” Token says and holds his fist. Craig bumps it silently. “Any clue why Clyde called up this early? Where’s Tweek, by the way?”

Craig ‘ughs’ as an answer and it’s enough for Token to stop the questions for now.

“Good morning dear best friends!” Clyde says when he opens the door because he’s Clyde. “Come in!”

Strangely enough, Clyde has cleaned up the living room. He points this out whispering in Craig’s ear which makes the latter frown. Awesome, let’s make a big deal out of this, he thinks, but doesn’t say because he doesn’t want Clyde to cry.

“W-w-what’s u-up Clyde?” Jimmy asks once he’s sat down on the couch. There’s recently washed glasses on the table and a bottle of water, and soft music from some random chill playlist from spotify playing in the background, for some reason. “Wh-whe-where’s T-tweek?”

“Yeah dude, what’s going on?” 

“Tweeeeeeek’s…” Clyde looks Craig’s way briefly and grimaces. “... working at the coffee shop?”

“No he’s not,” Token said frowning. “He said so yesterday. Dude. What the hell?”

“Okay!” Clyde said, hands up. “Tweek couldn’t come for this okay?! Don’t ask me why!”

“Craig?” Token looks at him, the only one who is still standing up. “You okay with this man?”

“I would rather Tweek not be here as well,” He sighs and looks to the ground. “He wouldn’t want to come anyways.”

“G-g-guys.“Jimmy says. “W-what h-happened y-y-yesterday?”

“OKAY SHUT UP!” Clyde shouts nervously. “Give us ONE minute, all right? Jesus.”

Token and Jimmy share a worried look and then stare at Craig. Damn it.

“Buddy?” Clyde whispers him. “Kitchen?”

“No. Fuck it.” Craig looks up and directly to his friends. This guys have known him since kindergarten for fucks sake. “I’m gay.”

The damn music keeps playing and Token and Jimmy stare at him while some dude sings about wanting to get drunk and feeling numb and Craig relates.

“O-okay. A-a-and what d-do-does have t-to do with T-tweek?” Jimmy presses. Craig feels something bad on his stomach.

“You like him.” Token says. “Damn. For how long dude?”

Craig sits- or lets himself crash on the far end of the sofa from where Clyde is nervously staring at him. “How long I’ve been-”

“No asswipe how long you’ve been in love with Tweek?”

“Waaaait hold up Token, man, who said anything ‘bout lo-”

“Two years.” 

Jimmy’s mouth actually falls open and Token closes his eyes. Clyde is squeezing a nearby pillow nervously.

The music keeps playing and Craig feels like throwing something to the TV so it fucking stops. Maybe himself. Why didn’t he do it any sooner?! It shouldn’t be this awkward! Not with his friends! It feels like confessing he has been lying to them at their faces for _years_ now, goddamn. Jimmy even tried to set him up with his cousin!

“I. It wasn’t like I was trying… to. You know. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you guys, just-”

“I- I kne-knew.” Jimmy mutters. 

“What?!” Clyde asks.

“I-I just!” Jimmy says looking at Craig directly. “D-didn’t th-think y-y-y-you knew! W-with a-a-all your cath-tholic back-background… and a-a-all…”

“Same.” Token sighs.

“...what.” 

“Listen, dude, I.” Token starts. “We have all heard your dad, the jokes, and the comments and well- you have never tried to correct him, even in front of Tweek-”

“Okay dude that’s unfair-” Clyde tries.

“- and we get it! I just thought-” Token gulps. “You have also never shown any interest in any girl. Ever.” 

“You thought I was homophobic?” 

“N-no!” Jimmy rapidly says. “N-no, b-bro!”

“Just that you’d have to deal with some, shit, some internalized homophobia or something like that, I don’t know!” Token says. “I even thought you were asexual!”

“Nah, he’s gay for Tweek. Like, smitten.” Clyde says.

“Dude!” Craig smacks him with a pillow. 

“What?!” Clyde asks and smacks him back. “I told you they would be okay with it! A bit _too_ okay. Jesus, was I the only one who thought you were into pussy?”

“Shut up please shut up already.”

“Wait. Is that why Tweek’s not here?”

“Nooooot excalty.” Clyde says cringing. “Okay, so, maybe I kinda forced Craig, _unknowingly_ , I might add, to tell Tweek about this… whole thing.”

“You mean you outed him.” Token sighed.

“No!” Clyde said defensively. “He outed himself!”

“A-a-and?”

“He flew the car crying, upset as hell, and accused me of- of lying or being straight or- I don’t even know!” Craig says angrily. “He doesn’t believe I’m gay. Or that I have feelings for him.”

“O-oh j-jesus.”

“So. What now?” Token asks.

“Like hell if I know. I fucked up. He doesn’t even wanna see me.”

“I have an idea!” Clyde jumps from the couch and grabs his laptop, a youtube video already prepared. “So, we just have to make Tweek believe you are gay, right?”

“I mean…”

“It seems to be the root of the problem.”

“Y-yea. Li-like you lied t-t-to him. O-or something.”

“So!” Clyde says smiling, happy that everybody seems to agree with him so far. “You just have to come out.”

“I already did? I thought all this stupid set up was for this.”

“Well yes, but _Tweek_ doesn’t know. Which is the whole point. Specially since this two apparently already knew and nobody bothered to tell me!”

“D-d-dude…” Jimmy said rolling his eyes.

“What is that video Clyde?” Token asks, ignoring the comment.

“A coming out video!” he proudly says. “It’s a song, catchy as hell.”

“And? Tweek already heard Craig. A song is not going to-”

“No, no it’s not for Tweek, exactly.”

“O-oh g-god,” Jimmy groans catching up. “C-clyde n-no.”

“If Craig sends this through the class group chat, everyone will know and Tweek will see it! He will surely believe Craig now!”

Both Token and Jimmy look at him like he is stupid, the latter even rubbing his eyes like he couldn’t believe him.

“So,” Token says patiently. “Your plan is-”

“Actually good.” Craig says.

“What.” Token deadpans as Clyde jumps on his seat excitedly. 

“See?!” he is full smug mode now. “It’s genius! Tweek is going to totally believe you now, you can both talk about your feelings for each other and be super gay together!”

“Oh my god Clyde…” Token muttered.

“You are forgetting that Tweek literally _ran out_ the car the moment I told him,” Craig sighs. “I don’t think our feelings for each other are exactly the same.”

“W-well…” Jimmy says and the look he gets from his friends makes him stutter even more. “I-I mean! I. I c-cant really-”

“DUDE!” Clyde gets up and goes to the armchair Jimmy is currently occupying. “If Tweek’s told you something you must tell us!”

“No he must not... are you stupid?” Token says grabbing Clyde’s arm. “Back off! You are making him uncomfortable dude!”

“But!” Clyde whines. “Craig?” 

His friend is currently staring at Jimmy with a look none of them have seen in him in the almost 15 years they have know him. It was pure and unabashed hope. Craig Tucker didn’t show emotion, and if anything, never as raw and _open_ like now. Jimmy gulped.

“I’m j-j-ust saying,” Jimmy avoids Craig’s intense glance for a second. “T-take y-your shot, m-m-man.”

“Gimme the laptop Clyde.” 

“Dude, are you sure about this?” Token ask seriously. “I mean. It’s your decision, but is not the most sensitive way of you know…”

“I don’t care who knows I’m gay.” Craig deadpans as he sends himself the link with the video. “I mean. I do. But everyone I care about already knows, and that’s you guys, Tweek, obviously, and my mom and my sister, which, I guess I’ll take care of soon enough.”

“AWWWWW BROOOO!” Clyde says and tries to hug Craig but Token holds him instead.

“If you send this to the class group chat it will eventually reach your family.”

“Yeah and it will definitely reach Tweek which is what matters now.” Craig types something on his phone and takes a breath. “Here goes nothing I guess. Say bye to the straight Craig Tucker, guys.”

“T-t-there w-was never a s-s-straight you, m-man.” Jimmy laughs. 

“Yeah.” Token nods. “You are the same asshole as always.”

“And we love you for that.” Clyde says, holding his tears back.

Craig presses send. 

*

_Highschool, first year's winter holidays._

Craig arrives at Token’s late, but he sees someone at door. He’s shaking, as he should be without at least a jacket in Colorado at 30 degrees. It has been almost three months since Tweek started hanging out regularly with the gang and although he was still weird about it, he always makes an effort to socialize. Craig respects that. He looks cold.

“What are you doing.” he says when he gets to the door.

“AGH!” the kid shouts. 

“Why don’t you go inside?”

“I was going to!” Tweek says defensively. 

“All right.” Craig says nodding. “Do you mind if I call? You might be okay at water’s freezing point temperature but I’m cold as fuck.”

“N-no! Go ahead. Nghh. Please.”

Token’s mom opens the door and she greets them both and offering something to drink. They both refuse politely and Craig walks straight to the basement, which is actually kind of like a cinema room. Clyde, Jimmy and Token are already there, and they greet them both. 

They had some pizzas and play some video games, and then Clyde whines about how much fun he had playing charades last Christmas with his family or whatever and ends up convincing Token and Jimmy to play, dragging consequently Tweek with them. Craig bitched about it but was actually okay with it.

Token had made the teams in a effort to even things. Neither were especially good at mimic. He wasn’t the most expressive person outhere and Tweek’s brain usually worked faster than his own mouth would and this would surely be to much pressure. At least Token’s vast knowledge about everything would get them points. He grabbed a couple cards, confident they wouldn’t make more than two in a minute, and got up.

‘Elephant’ he read. _Great. Embarrass yourself, Tucker_. Clyde said time and he quickly pointed at his nose, and before he was going all the way down trying -and failing- to imitate a trunk.

“Nose! Smell!” Token said

“ELEPHANT!” Tweek yelled.

“Yes?” Craig said, quickly reading another one. Damn. He sighed and made a line with his arm, then pulled the invisible object to his eyes, closing one.

“Stick. Ruler?” Token said. “What the hell Craig!”

“See. See. Something.” Craig nodded at Tweek and made flashing motions with his hands. “Blink? Stars? TELESCOPE.” Craig nodded again and then pointed at himself. 

“Astronaut?” Token said confused.

“GALILEO GALILEI!”

“YES.” Craig grinned and read the next one. _Movie. Fuck. Okay_. He lifted two fingers. And struck a ridiculous pose.

“Two words.” said Token

“AGH JURASSIC PARK!” Craig was full on grinning at this point. And Tweek got surgeon, brick, and somehow spaguetti, in less than a one minute.

“That was physic what the hell?!” Clyde said. “Did you two rehearsed this?!”

“What? Ngh- No!” Tweek said as Craig looked at him disbelieving. “Craig is just good at this.”

“CRAIG IS GOOD AT THIS?” Token shouted. “He’s the most inexpressive bastard to ever play charades! Nobody wants to play with Craig! He’s the handicap!”

“What?” Tweek said confused. “It was luck then, I guess.”

Craig’s eyes never saw Tweek the same after that night. It might have been luck, if it weren’t for how Craig himself got every single thing Tweek was doing in about seconds. After they got almost 15 cards in less than a round, the other three decided to split them up.

Later that night, when they were walking home, Craig and Tweek said bye to Clyde, the first stop of their walk. Both lived a couple streets further, and walked in a comfortable silence for the first time since Tweek started hanging out with them.

“How did you do it?” Craig asked.

“Hm?”

“Guessing.” he says, looking down at the shivering boy. He wanted to shrug his jacket off and hand it to him, for some reason. He doesn't because it's the type if thing that bothers Tweek. He knows how to take care of himself better than anybody. “Understanding me. I’m not good at this game.”

“You understood me too.” Tweek pointed out. “I don’t know. T-to be honest. Something about your eyes nhhg. Speaks very clear to me- I guess.”

“People say I have a stoic face.”

“Maybe.” Tweek hums. “But I get it.”

Craig looked at him in disbelieve, and when Tweek looked up and smiled, it was it.

Hook, line and sinker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I'm actually quite happy with this chapter! :D I'll hate it when I wake up and want to take it down probably but im determined to finish this story, even if i dont get a single comment, at least for myself.  
> Have a super nice day and take care :DD!!!!!!


	3. to sister and mom

_Wendy: Did you see it? OMG Tweek!_

_Read: 3:20 pm_

_Wendy: I told you! Craig wouldn’t joke about something like that!_

_Read: 3:20 pm_

_Wendy: What are you gonna do about it?_

_Read: 3:20 pm_

_Wendy: Tweek?_

_Read: 3:24 pm_

*

_Middle School, second year._

They hate him. 

“Hey! Spaz! I’m talking to you! Are you also fucking deaf or what?!”

They, 100% hate him. All of them. The entire class. Why wouldn't they? They always let Cartman do this shit. He manages to muffle his _eeek_ and shallow the incoming sobs. He tries to avoid gripping his hair, his therapist has told him a million times now that it doesn’t help him at all. He wants to reach for his stress ball but Cartman would surely take it from him. So he grips his hair and closes his eyes.

“HEY FREAK!” Cartman actually tries to grab him, and he reacts instinctively, dodging, and dumping by mistake one of the paint cans on their shared table.

“EEEEK!” he screeches, the entire classroom looking at them now. “I’M SORRY!”

“There’s paint dripping fucking everywhere you stupid useless excuse for a human!” Cartman shouts. “And it’s on _my_ drawing, how convenient for you huh!”

“Hey fatass calm down if you hadn’t started fucking shouting at him-”

“Shut the fuck up fucking jew!” Cartman spats at Kyle, two tables away from them, and apparently the only one who stands up for Tweek, shaking on a corner, as far from the other boy as possible. “How are you gonna fix this, spaz? You gotta do my project now. It’s your fault, you ruined it.”

_Where’stheteacherwhere’stheteacherwhere’stheteachershewouldsaysomethingshemustsaysomethingwhereisshe_. His heart is banging in his chest. In his ear. Inside his fucking head and combined with his own thoughts it’s too much. Too much.

“Tweak!” Cartman says and that’s it, he is sprinting to the door, his table being the closest to it. He chose it specifically for that. His feet take him to the closest bathroom on instinct, and supplies for him enough to splash water on his face, uselessly trying to stop the sweating. His breathing is getting worse and he knows what it’s coming. His shaking is bad, way worse than in the classroom. He is glad that at least he managed to hold it while he was outthere. Cartman would have a fucking field day if he started shaking and crying. His hands manage to lock the bathroom stall at the fourth try, and he sits on the toilet, the only one that still has its top. His secret hiding place.

He lifts his legs and hugs his knees, breathing in between them, trying to stop the crying. But it won't stop for a while. He knows this. And he deserves it this time. This is why they all hate him, they all hate him because he is fucking crazy-

“Tweek?” he hears a voice. He doesn’t answer. He sees a pair of blue nikes stand before his bathroom. Craig Tucker.

Next sound that his ears register is his classmate shoes echoing through the dirty bathroom and going to the door. He closes it with a loud bang that has Tweek grabbing his hair anxiously.

“Sorry.” the guy says. “It will only take me a minute. I’m trying to lock it.”

He manages a small, pathetic sound as an answer. 

"You'd rather nobody comes in here, right?"

He doesnt answer or ask how does Craig Tucker know how to lock a public restroom door _from the inside_ . Of why is he there, talking to him. He doesn't even say shit at him when he sits down on the dirty floor. He stays silent. _Happy place, my happy place. Ignore him, I’m in my happy place._

“You don’t have to talk but I will say something.” Craig Tucker says. “Then I’ll shut up. If you want. It’s whatever. Or I can talk. I can go on forever about space trivia.”

Tweek is still crying and failing to muffle it on his knees. His breathing is louder than anything he’s ever heard and echoes around the bathroom.

“Listen is clear to anyone out there with half a brain cell that you have Anxiety in capitals letters.”

_Yeah, figures._ His brain whispers. He forces his jaw but he is still trembling. He should be trying to breath slowly, he needs to calm down. 

“And I can’t think of anyone braver than someone who is afraid of everything outhere, and stills faces their fucked up reality everyday. So.”

_Why are you here?! What do you want?! Leave!_ he wants to say.

“My point is I think you are brave.” Tucker says after another silence.

_I'm not._ Tweek thinks. _I'm so not brave. You are so wrong it's almost funny. Why do you think that? Why would anyone ever think something remotely positive about me?_ Tweeks brain rapidly fires. He scolds himself for thinking this. But his mouth only acks! Softly. Only a whisper of his anxiety, panic attack fading somehow with the distraction that the blue shoes provide. His entire focus on them. It’s easier, it’s not a face laughing or judging him, it’s just shoes.

“Also you do goddamn kickboxing and I would be a moron if I thought I could take you in a fight.“

“A moron like nggh like Cartman?” Is the first thing he says to Craig Tucker in a long time. Since fourth grade or so, probably.

“Yeah,” Craig chuckles. “Like Cartman.” 

Silence fills the bathroom, only the broken tap's drops precipinting to the sink trying to fill to what any other 14th years old boy would be a painfully awkward moment with a classmate. 

“Thanks Craig.” Tweek mutters. 

“You are welcome,” he answers. “Oh. Also, I did. Uh, kinda, threat to beat his ass after school if they didn’t shut up and stop bullying you from now on. Sorry.”

“Wh-why would you be sorry about that?”

“I mean. As I said i know you are 100% able to defend yourself. I didn't mean it as if you are weak or anything. I just hate Cartman. And what he was doing is wrong. So. Just a heads up.” 

“I. I- appreciate it. Thanks.”

“You are welcome. I'm gonna stay here. In silence if you want. Or outside if its better for you, but I can't go far so the door's still locked.”

“You locked us for good?!” 

“Yeah.”

“What if you can't get us out?!” 

“I can. I have a key.”

_Oh he has a key that explains so much. Wait why does he have a key?_ he thinks. “What if you have an aneurysm and die?!” he says.

“I won't.” 

“You don't know!”

“In the off chance I die of an aneurysm you have permission to take the key from my corpse.”

“And if you die of heart attack?“

“That too.” 

“And if-”

“You are granted permission to take the key from me should I die before we are out. That good?”

“...yes.” There's more silence and Craig doesn't try to fill it. Tweek realizes his breathing has finally slowed down.

“Why do you have a key?” he asks.

“Token has his moments too. And money does wonders, even in a public school.”

“Token? Token Black?” 

“Yeah man, anxiety or stress or whatever. He doesn’t have it as bad as you tho, he only needs a place to bitch about not getting an A. Is stupid.” 

“That-that must be a lot of pressure.” 

“It is but he will have to learn to suck it and live with it. We all do.” he says. “You do.” 

“I-” he finds that he doesn't have anything to add. So he doesn't.

“If you ever need it again, come find me. I don't mind. If Token has then all of us should have a place to calm down too. Especially if _I_ have the key.” 

“Thanks Craig.” he means it. “I mean it.” 

“You are welcome.” 

*

Besides a couple messages wanting to check if it was actually true, very few people talked to Craig privately after he sent the link. Tweek wasn’t one of them, but he was counting on it.

The groupchat had exploded, a couple girls from class complained that apparently the ‘hot ones were always gay’ which was funny to Craig. He had had acne and braces till junior year, when puberty had finally graced him. Up until then he was the weird, quiet kid that was friends with Token, the smart rich guy, Clyde, the jock, and Jimmy, the funny one. And after he had grown up to be six feet something and came back from summer holidays, at least five girls in his year had asked him out, a bunch of others were about to, according to rumours. Funny.

His mom texted him sometime around noon to pick up his sister from a friend’s house on his way back home, preferably before dinner. So, after losing a bunch of times to Jimmy at some shooting game Clyde had just gotten, and after Token and Jimmy had left, he helps Clyde cleaning and says goodbye to his friend, who hugs him profusely and demands to know when ( _if, he doesn’t add)_ Tweek gave signals of life.

On his way to Karen McCormick’s house, he thinks about going back to class on monday, and all the looks and questions, and groans to himself. It wasn’t really the fastest route, but Craig decides to pass by the coffee shop, just barely, to check on Tweek. He is aware that he seems like a stalker, and Tweek will surely think so too, but he just needs to know if his friend was okay, after almost a day of radio silence.

He checks himself on a store window a few meters before Tweak’s Bros, adjusts his hat and smooths -uselessly- his hoodie. He has looked worse, he reminds himself. He walks by the front door, faster than he normally would, and risk a side glance.

Tweek’s there, has definitely seen him, and spilled about four cups of coffee over his dad. Shit. Craig ducks his head and keeps walking faster. Goddamn it.

He texts his sister that he’s at the door and waits. When the door opens it’s not Tricia or Karen but Kenny McCormick, who Craig had prayed was outside with his asshole friends dicking around.

“Tucker!” Kenny says, sans-parka. “How does it feel now that you are-?”

“Same as always. Shut the hell up.” he hisses looking inside for his sister.

“What? You haven’t told her yet?” the boy whispers. “Jesus man, she probably knows already the entire school is talking about it y’know?”

“Tricia?!” he calls irritated, ignoring his classmate.

“Listen, dude!” Kenny says, hands up defensively. “It’s cool. You don’t like girls? Awesome, more pussy for me.” Craig groans. “What I _really_ want to know is how’s Tweek reacted to the news, huh?”

“What.”

“Yeah!” Kenny says enthusiastically. “I mean, he obviously was into you! At least last year, when-”

“Did you bring the car?” his little sister interrupts Kenny, and, he probably loves her more than anything on the entire world, including, his friends _and_ Stripe but he kinda wants her to disappear now. “Craig?”

“...no.” he tells her and she flips him off and takes her phone. Kenny smiles at him apologetically. He wants to punch him, opting instead for the more civilised classic flipping off. “Bye McCormick.”

“See you monday!” the boy calls out as he closes the door.

The walk to their house is not long, but it’s cold enough now that he thinks he should have brought the car, at least for Tricia. She’s adamant on keep texting, whatever it is she's gossiping about apparently way more important than keeping her hands warm. And she’s also stubbornly shivering. He takes off his hat and puts it on her ginger head. She protest a little about her hair but resumes to texting.

“Hey Trish.” he calls his sister so she lifts her attention from her phone. “I’m gay.”

“Cool,” she says and goes back to her phone. “That means we can talk about makeup and clothes now?”

“No, fuck off. Don’t care about that shit.”

“Lame but whatever.” she lifts her middle finger as he stops at a red light. He glances at her. She’s smiling at him. He lifts his middle finger as well.

This was just getting easier each time. Maybe Clyde was actually right and he just needed to tune up his coming out technique. 

“Do you think mom will be okay with it?”

“Uhm.” she says, frowning. “Yeah. Maybe upset about grandchildren and what not. I don’t know.”

“Yeah.” he chuckles.

“Dad will be okay too, you know?” she adds hesitantly.

Craig closes his eyes briefly and sighs. “Not immediately. He will be upset. For a while, maybe. But it’s not like he is going to kick you out or anything like that.”

“Thanks Trish.”

“Sure.” she nods at him firmly. “You gonna tell her?”

“I was thinking about doing it at dinner.”

“You are insane.” she says smirking. “Can you do it while we are blessing the table?”

“You really want dad to disown me that much?”

“I mean. More for me, right?”

They reach their house soon after that and their mom urges them inside, going on about the cold even if that’s South Parks’ standard mode. He reeks after being at Clyde’s for hours so he decides to take a shower before dinner. He methodically opens the tabs, gets inside, washes his hair and rinses in less than three minutes, and runs to his bedroom to get in his pajamas. He’s scrolling through netflix when he hears a knock at his door. It’s not really closed but his mom is nice like that.

“Tweek was here before.” she tells him.

He’s so startled he bumps his head with the shelve above his bed when he sits up. His mom winces. 

“He was?!” he ask rubbing his forehead and trying to look nonchalant. He fails. “What did he- did he ask for me?”

“Yes.” she smiles at him. “We told him you were out and he seemed surprised.”

“Uhm.” he says. His mom comes inside and sits on his bed. “Something happened? You two fought?”

“No. Not really.” he says, and for some reason, he can feel himself heating up. He is sure he is deasass blushing now. God damnit. He has never been able to lie to his mom. “But he was… upset.”

“Honey.” she says and he flinches at the sweet tone. “There’s something you wanna talk about?”

“...no.” he says. “I-”

She smoothes his bed, neatly made, as he made sure it was every day, and glances around the bedroom. 

“You know I love you right?” she tells him, and looks at him dead in the eye. “No matter what. You could drop out school, get in drugs, get a girl pregnant, and god knows I would still love you.”

“That won’t be happening.” he can’t stop himself from saying.

“I know sweetheart it was just an example-”

“I won’t be getting any girls pregnant.” he blurts out. He takes a breath, and his mom smiles. _She knows,_ he thinks to himself, _she must know._ “I don’t like girls.”

“That’s okay.” she tells him. “As long as one day I’m a grandma and they love you as much, I don’t care who you love.”

He doesn’t add anything, and she gets up and kisses his head, and fluffs his damp hair for good measure. He chuckles and she smiles at him.

“Can I ask just one more thing?” she says before she reaches the doorway.

“Sure why not.”

“Is it Tweek?” she smirks. He flips her off. She laughs and flips him off as well. “Your father will be finishing dinner in ten minutes. Dry your hair and come downstairs.”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how apparently we all agree that the bathroom is the appointed place to have anxiety in school and while this specifically hasn't happened to me, i did have to lock a bathroom for a friend while everything passed. I wasn't exactly aware of what was going on but now I understand and highschool sucks to some people. 
> 
> Anyways! Hope you enjoyed this :)


	4. To dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY GD IM SORRY  
> i went to visit a friend to oslo and then university began and the league too and i was playing so many matches and god  
> Im back tho  
> enjoyyyyyyyyyyyy

Tweek stares at Craig’s contact again, like he hasn’t already memorized his profile picture, which is actually not of him but of Stripe in a ridiculous vest which reads ‘police k9’. It’s a really funny picture, Craig sent it to him before even posting it. 

He swipes until he finds Clyde’s contact, and wonders if maybe he should try to call him first instead. After all, he was in the car as well, and saw that shit show firsthand. Damn it, he had been doing so well! It had been so long since he had cried in front of anybody! Besides Craig of course, who he kind of tended to use as a fucking tissue lately for all his meltdowns. For all he was a stoic non expressive asshole, he always made his best to stop him from crying. Even if it was for a stupid reason, like getting emotional over a song lyric, Craig never joked about it until way later. He listened and showed him funny videos on instagram. Tweek suspected he even had a collection of them saved specifically for his moments.

It wasn’t like it was just him taking advantage of Craig’s kindness, as far as he knew, Craig didn’t turn to anybody else when he had a bad day either. He still remembers picking him up from his house after work, about a year ago, and bringing him to his own house to cook pizza from scratch, after a discussion with his dad, and a particular shitty week. Craig didn’t speak a lot those days, or thanked him, but when he told Tweek that the last time he had cried had actually been that very same day, one look at his eyes told him everything Tweek needed to know.

He groans and drops the phone on the bed, frustrated. So. Turns out Craig might actually be gay for real, and he had gone ballistic on him and stomped over his feelings, like an asshole. 

*

_Highschool, second year._

Tweek liked his new therapist. She was extremely kind _and_ professional. She even said that with time and work he might even be able to come out of meds! She’s the very first psychiatrist to ever say that to him, and he’s really. fucking. glad. He’s so glad he wants to call Craig. But he doesn’t because that would be weird right? It’s not like they are childhood friends, like he and the others, so he decides to text instead, and finds that Craig actually sent him a message asking how has the session gone an hour or so ago.

He hits send, happily, and his phone tells him he doesn’t have internet connection.

“ACK!” he shouts. “Shit!” he looks around nervously, checking if somebody has actually seen him, which, being almost ten pm on a thursday, is highly unlikely. He starts sweating nervously. He needs google maps to get to the bus stop! His phone is still useful enough to remind him that if he doesn’t get to the bus stop in five minutes, the last bus to South Park is going to leave without him. He grips his useless phone and runs to the bus stop, praying that his memory is right and trusting that he will get there on time. 

He really likes his new therapist, but her office was in _Denver_ which is a fucking pain, because his parents are working on the coffee shop, and he’s too young to drive, he has to take the bus. Which he is going to lose, almost definitely if he doesn’t run faster. Shit, he should have totally accepted Clyde’s offer to jog in the weekends. 

He gets lost, inevitably, but ends up recognizing a building, because he had thought it looked damn cool on his way to the session, and reaches the bus stop a few minutes past ten. He has lost the bus.

He restarts his phone and decides to sit on the bus stop while he waits for it to come back to life. When it does he checks the connection again, and finds out there isn’t any. He groans and calls his parents.

“Mom?” he says after she picks up.

“... hm? Tweek? Are you in the bus honey?” she ask, and he can hear the distinctive sound of a broom brushing against floor tiles. They must be close to finish tidying up and going home by now. 

“...no,” he mutters. “I lost it.”

She sighs on the phone. “... Tweek.”

“I’m sorry!” he says. “My phone just stopped working and I couldn’t use google maps and-”

“It’s alright, your dad will come pick you up, okay? And we will ask Mrs Edwards to not give you the last session next time. Just, stay at the bus stop, don’t move.”

“Okay mom. Thank you,” he whispers on the phone and hangs up. Well, so much for being ‘old enough and responsible to go on his own’, he thinks. And it’s also fucking cold.

He tries to get his data to work but it’s useless. His dad is going to take a fucking lot of time. And he is bored, and starting to suspect of every single person that comes within ten feet. Shit, he is going to get kidnapped for sure.

He decides to distract himself looking at his pictures in his gallery, looking for memes, but turns out he only has photos of the gang goofing around, ugly selfies from Clyde and Jimmy, and Stripe’s photoshoots. Tweek chuckles. There’s actually a video of Craig bitching about Stripe pooping all over his bedroom when he just wanted to shoot a couple funny pics with different hats. Tweek is recording the moment, and laughing behind the camera.

He’s calling Craig before he knows it.

“Tweek?” 

“Hi!” he says nervously. 

“What's wrong dude? Something happened?” there’s background noise, music actually, and Tweek can recognise the music Craig uses to study. Shit, he has an exam tomorrow. He shouldn’t have called! “Tweek are you okay?”

“Yes!” he sighs. “My phone decided it was the perfect moment to stop working, and, and I couldn’t remember where the bus stop was because I was going to use google maps, and I lost the bus and-”

“Tweek, breath. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” Craig says, soothingly. “Are your parents coming to pick you up?”

“Yes,” he mutters. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have called, you are studying!”

“I’m too tired anyways, I was going to stop now. Don’t worry about it.”

“But!”

“How was the session?” 

Tweek sighs. “It was okay. I really like her. She says that I can even get off meds if I work hard enough.”

“That’s awesome Tweek!” Craig says excited, or in his version of excited, Tweek smiles.

“Yeah…” he looks at his shoes. “How’s math for smart people going?”

“Ugh, horrible,” Craig groans. “I don’t even know why I thought advanced math was going to be a good idea.”

“Because Token talked you into it and you have huge ego,” Tweek says, Craig groans again in response.

“Well, now I’d rather be dumb and playing minecraft, to be honest.”

“You are such a nerd,” Tweek chuckles. “This weekend we can all play, when Token has also finished his exams.”

“Yeah,” Craig says. “Aren’t you cold? It must be freezing there.”

And so they keep talking, Twerk repeating multiple times that Craig should hang up and go to sleep, and Craig insisting he was okay, he was going to fail anyways. They talk about nothing and everything, and Tweek doesn’t feel cold at all, or scared. When he realises, it’s almost midnight, and he sees his dad’s car in the distance.

“Craig,” he says, and the other hums sleepily. “My dad is here.”

“Okay. Good. You won’t freeze to death,” he jokes, but it doesn’t sound funny at all, because it’s Craig, still, it’s sweet to him.

“Thank you, by the way,” Tweek adds.

“It’s nothing,” he dismisses. “Text me when you get home.”

“Okay but don’t wait up, just go to sleep okay?”

“Sure,” Craig says mid yawn. “G’night.”

“Good night, I lov-” he cuts himself quickly, breath coming short. “I loved talking to you!” and hangs up.

_What the hell was that!_

*

_Are you going to be home tomorrow?_

There. Simple enough. Right? Tweek stares at his message for what must me the tenth time and debates whether to send it or not. Craig must have wanted to talk to him right? That’s why he went to the coffee shop that afternoon, even though he wasn’t supposed to be working today, Craig knew him well enough to guess that was where he would hide from his friends. And still tried to see him. Or something. _Maybe it was coincidence! No. Craig actually looked inside_ , he tells himself. _Just send it already!_

**_Tweek_ ** _: Are you going to be home tomorrow?_

_Sent: 11:22 pm_

Holy shit! He did it! Jesus Christ! He must log out before-

**_Craig_ ** _: Yes_

_Read: 11:22 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: Why_

_Read: 11:22 pm_

Oh shit oh shit he was definitely mad, wasn’t he? He sounds mad. To be fair Craig always sounds kinda mad, specially by text, but he must be mad!

**_Craig_ ** _: I can go to yours instead, if you prefer_

_Read: 11:22 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: It's whatever_

_Read: 11:23 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: Just_

_Read: 11:23 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: Talk to me, please_

_Read: 11:23 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: Let me explain_

_Read: 11:23 pm_

Okay so, he wasn’t mad. He was… sad? Tweek can’t believe what he’s reading. Craig really must be really upset about all this. Explain? Explain what? It’s Tweek who owes him an apology! And a decent confession, because he has been head over heels for this guy since- well, probably for longer, but he realised in sophomore year. Which had kinda sucked, because for all he knew Craig Tucker was as straight as they come, never once shown interest in a boy. Turns out he was wrong.

**_Tweek_ ** _: No! Its cool! I’ll go!_

_Sent: 11:24 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: And you have NOTHING to be sorry for_

_Sent: 11:24 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: I should be the one apologizing_

_Sent: 11:24 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: Tweek it’s fine, really_

_Read: 11:24 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: No its really isn't_

_Sent: 11:24 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: But i don't wanna be doing this over text_

_Sent: 11:25 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _:You deserve better_

_Sent: 11:25 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: I don't want better_

_Read: 11:25 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: I want u_

_Read: 11:25 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: JESUS_

_Sent: 11:25 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: CRAIG_

_Sent: 11:25 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: Ill stop if it makes u uncomfortable_

_Read: 11:25 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: I just really need u to believe me_

_Read: 11:25 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: No!_

_Sent: 11:25 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: It doesnt make me uncomfortable_

_Sent: 11:25 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: Just nervous_

_Sent: 11:25 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: k then_

_Read: 11:26 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: Ill try to be there after lunch maybe_

_Sent: 11:26 pm_

**_Tweek_ ** _: Will you wait for me?_

_Sent: 11:26 pm_

**_Craig_ ** _: Always._

_Read: 11:26 pm_

*

After his conversation with Tweek, Craig felt invincible. He didn’t want to get his hopes up just for them to be crushed, but maybe Clyde was right and Tweek did feel something for him. As far as he knew, however, Tweek wanted to talk, maybe too plainly and completely reject him, to still be friends. That was good enough.

When he woke up the next day, he read the conversation all over again, cringing at how sappy he sounded but whatever. He had felt so powerful, like reality isn't even a threat anymore now that his dreams were turning to be true, that he has slipped up.

“Are you crazy?!” his father shouts banging his fist on the table. Tricia looks up from his phone worriedly.

“Thomas!”

“My son is not a- a-” his father is a lost of words, wide eyes staring at him like he had never seen him before. “You are not-”

“I am,” Craig says, frowning. “I’m gay.”

“What are you even going on about?!” his father gets up, the chair screeching and throws his hands on the air. “Is this a stupid joke?”

Both his sister and his mom are looking at him worriedly. “Is that it? It’s this for a stupid video? I thought you were above that son.”

“Why would I joke about that,” he says flatly. His father is still standing, and watches speechless as he picks up his breakfast and leaves the dishes on the sink.

“I-” his father says, dropping on the chair, eyes lost somewhere on the floor. “We did everything right. We-” he looks up searching for his wife’s support. “We took you to church. Every sunday.”

“That’s where I learnt that God loves all his creatures equally,” Craig says looking straight at him. He picks a carrot from the fridge, bangs the door when he closes it and goes to feed his guinea pig.

“Thomas…” Laura sighs.

“Can’t you understand that in my time we just didn’t accept this?” 

Tricia puts his glass down with much more force than necessary and follows his brother upstairs, not bothering to clean her stuff.

“Patricia Tucker!” his father shouts after her. She doesn’t even flip him the bird.

“It’s Craig, Thomas. There’s nothing you have to accept. It’s not a fucking choice. He has my blue eyes and he is six feet like you and he also happens to be gay,” his wife says picking her own dishes. “Did you have a problem accepting he is good at physics too?”

“Of course not!” he bumps his fist on the table. “But this is- this is fucking different, Laura, and you know it!”

“How?” she ask fiercessly. “How is this any different!”

“It’s just- it’s not natural!” he says looking to the floor. “The Bible-”

“You and I both know that’s bullshit,” she says deadpan. “You also think now all of a sudden the Earth is flat and we come from God’s rib? Thomas, please.”

“I don’t know!” he rubs his forehead. “Maybe it’s not so wrong. I don’t know. I - I just don’t want it to be _my_ son.”

Laura sits down and puts a hand on his husband’s. “He’s been hurting for _years._ Because of us. Because he couldn’t be himself. We were proud thinking we taught them to never hide, and all this time, he’s been hiding _from us_ , Thomas.”

He puts his hand on top of his wife and gives her a sad smile. 

“He also got all the intelligence from you, huh?” she smiles back and gets up to kiss him on the forehead.

“Go talk to him please.” Thomas nods. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Craig is sitting on his bed, eyes closed and headphones at maximum volume, music loud enough his father can hear it as he enters the bedroom.

“Son, you need to listen to me.” he says sitting on the bed softly. Craig opens one eyes and pauses the song. 

“What.” his father stares at him in silence long enough that he wonders if he should resume listening to his music while he makes up his mind.

“I’m sorry Craig.”

“I can’t be something because you want me to be, dad. I have to be myself.” he says as if he has, (and actually has) repeated it 100 times.

“I know.” he sighs. “I used to think being gay was a choice. But you don’t get to decide.”

Craig doesn’t say anything and keeps his mouth shut. He knows how hard this must be for his father. It was hard enough for himself.

“I don’t understand this stuff. But I do know that if you try and resist it, you make yourself miserable your whole life.” Thomas says. “I raise you to ultimately be happy. And if you aren’t I failed as a parent. I can’t be the reason you are miserable.”

Craig gulps down and resist the urge to hug him. They don’t do that, they flip each other. 

“Everyone was so proud of you, I was just being selfish. But I want to be proud of you, too.” Craig gives up and hugs him. “I love you son.”

“Love you too dad.”

*

“EEEEK!”

“Hi Tweek.”

“OhmygodohmygodohmyGOD-” 

“Tweek. Please. Breathe with me, huh?” Craig turns the other boy around slowly, carefully. “In and out, c’mon. In.”

Tweek slowly starts breathing normally and Craig takes a step back. His friend is still not looking at him, eyes fixed on his shoes. Tweek usually does that, it’s an old habit. He used to joke about how he would recognize people by their shoes, instead of faces. Craig’s were worn out blue nikes. The soles were supposed to be white, but white is a relative color when time and mud fades it. If one would look close enough, this ones had a dent where Stripe had once munched on them. Tweek was there to see that moment. He can see it now. In, out, in.

“I’m not good with words!” he shrieks. Craig nods, gaze unfaltering. “I’m- I’m good with music, but you wouldn’t understand it!”

“I-”

“I mean you _would_ because it’s you. It’s you and you always seem to understand me,” Tweek whispers. “It’s always been you. I guess.”

“Tweek-”

“What I mean is! ACK!” Tweek shoves his hands on his pockets and takes out a crumpled paper. He attempts to smooth it, but his hands are shaking so bad the poor paper is flapping around uselessly. “I’d like to. I’d really like to put in words _this._ And, and be able to tell you! But I’m no good.”

“Yes you are,” Craig interrupts. Tweek ignores him.

“So. I tried looking for inspiration in songs lyrics. Somebody must have written about what I’m feeling before, right? And way better than me, for sure,” he laughs. “But I ended up- uh- kind of just plainly copying them? Made a remix. But, no music. Because it’s- gah, it’s a letter.” 

“Twe-”

“So!” Tweek looks up, staring holes on Craig’s eyes, freezing him. “Listen.” Craig nods again, and listens.

“There's n-no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard, I could sing a thousand songs about you, and still that would not do, there’s a million tiny things that make the things that you do, you. That’s- jesus, that’s so repetitive oh god-”

“Tweek,” Craig says, putting a hand around Tweek’s trembling ones. “I love it.”

“No!” Tweek shrieks. “No! You can’t love it! That part was GAH- that part was bullshit. Shut shut- up and listen!”

Craig lifts his hands up defensively, but sends a small, tiny smile on Tweek’s way. He takes a breath. Stares at his paper. Damn he put time into this. “Okay. _Jesus Christ._ " He breathes deep and focus on his messy writing. Here goes nothing. "Yours is the first face that I saw. I think I was blind before I met you. Now I don’t know where I am, I don’t know where I’ve been, but I know where I want to go. Every now and then I get a little bit lonely, a little bit restless, a little bit helpless, a little bit terrified. Every now and then I fall apart. But then I see the look in your eyes, and from the day that I met you I stopped feeling afraid. You make me laugh and show me how, just how good this life can be. And in our moments filled with joy, is where I live, where I am free. There’s something in your smile that gives me strength to carry on, and there something in your words that lingers even when your gone.” Tweek risks a glance from his paper to look at Craig, whose eyes are wild and so, so open. He’s blushing madly too. He smirks.

“And so, I thought I’d let you know, after all this time, I'm still into you. And these things take forever, I, especially, am slow. But I realize that I need you, and I wondered if I could come home.” He sees movement, and is amazed to see that Craig is actually rubbing his eyes softly. “Take my hand, take my whole life, too. For I can't help falling in love with you. So if you want to be with me, with these things, there’s no telling we just have to wait and see. Besides, maybe this time is different? I mean, I really think you like me.”

He looks up, shyly, god this was so sappy. But Craig seemed to love it, because he was looking at him like- like he just pulled out of his ass a romantic movie grand gesture, like _confessing his love for him to the entire town_ , or high school, at least, instead of copying a bunch of love songs in a crusty paper.

“I do,” Craig says and there’s still tears rolling down his left cheek, and Tweek gathers all the courage Craig always says he has, and brushes them softly. Then leaves his hand there for good measure. Craig nuzzles into it. “I do. I like you a whole fucking lot. Maybe more than that but that’s too mu-”

“Too much pressure.” Tweek chuckles. “This okay?”

“Of course it is,” Craig whispers into his palm and then kisses it. Tweek’s brain explodes a little. And Craig laughs. “Come here already.”

He pulls lightly and soon enough Tweek is falling on him, hands on his chest, and he’s embracing him tightly. Two years. Two fucking years waiting for this moment. Two years of yearning, of wanting so much his heart almost spills over everytime Craig so much as looked at him. Two years of getting up thinking about Craig and going to bed hoping to dream of him as well. Craig holds him tighter.

“Craig-” he whines. “Craig, I can’t breath.”

The asshole holds even tighter and kisses his head.

“Craig! I’m- I’m going to punch you if you don’t-” Twerk pushes lightly and Craig lets go, smiling. Then lifts him up quickly, so Tweek is sitting on his porch fence. He hides on his neck.

“You are a cuddler,” Tweek says, laughing, one hand playing with Craig’s hair, the other laced with Craig’s own, fingers intertwined. 

“I’m yours.” he whispers on his neck. And Tweek lifts his chin up with his hand, just barely, to brush their lips together.

It’s not fireworks and a choir singing but it’s a feeling, a feeling of rightness. Of belonging, deep in his soul, maybe deeper. Of love and being loved in its rawest form and none of them can get enough of it. Tweek gasps on Craig mouth and hangs for dear life on his shoulders, while Craig grips his waist tightly.

Later, much later, Tweek will notice that they are at the Tucker’s garden, and Craig’s parents can totally see them, and panic. And later, in burrowed pajamas and cuddling in Craig’s bed, he will text their group chat, and Jimmy, Token and Clyde will answer with nice messages, Clyde even a voice note, crying, which they will listen to in the morning while sharing breakfast, and Tweek will sip at his coffee and think about how lucky he is, and a small part of him will whispershout in his brain that he’d like to wake up like this every morning, staring at Craig’s dumb face still in the process of waking up, forgetting to put on his stoned-face facade. 

But now, well, he’s just kissing his best friend recklessly, because he’s 17 and in love, and convinced, only time will tell if he’s right or not, that this is what he is supposed to do for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it!!!!! Hope the fluff makes up for the tardiness :)))))))))))))))))))))))<3  
> Also, if you are curious this the list of songs Tweek (I, I did, tweek didnt he is a useless homosexual) used for the letter.  
> better together  
> overwhelmed  
> first day of my life  
> total eclipse of a heart  
> in your arms  
> still in to you  
> cant help falling in love
> 
> Probably you figured at least two, tell me if you got more OR If you liked the story in the comments, I appreciate it :DD  
> byyyyeee

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it!  
> English is not my first language so if there's any mistake, thats why :^)  
> ANYWAY thanks a lot, i hope you have an amazing dayyyy


End file.
